the dip in life -- me

so i read what koehler has to say about me, and how i've hit the rough spot of my long life...and i've to say he's right. i'm a loser, a loner, a dork, a fool, a nut hanging baffoon who drinks too much beer from the tube of a funnel, who looks forward to the brighter days in life when i win 50-25 rather than lose in a similar manner...i'm a nothing with nowhere to go and no directions to get there...i've got everything at my fingertips but i'm too lazy to reach up for it. i'm slacker who's started slacking off at slacking off...i do less now then when i did absolutely nothing which to say the least is very little at all...i eat all day, drink all night and find a little time in between to be merry...i see the glass as half empty and decide to drink it so i can crack open another...i find enjoyment in watching dogs hump towels...i eat hamburger helper and pasta roni for snacks and chips as a meal...i'm a certified clown as a profession...i love the classes that suck and hate the classes that should be fun...i shit in other people's toilets...i make sure to find time in each day to make sure that i catch up on how lazy i am and how boring my life is...i have a bar in my den and two guitars...i have a satellite box without a tv...i dream about cross country running trips and stealing tanks and getting put under citizen's arrest by thugs who just want me to get ass raped...i dream that i get chased by mountain lions and sleep in redneck's living rooms...i've been spat on, had beer cans thrown at me, and all other sorts of other paraphenalia hurled my way...i watch the news every day to see whether bonds hit another homerun, whether clemson's going to lose by 15 or 20, to find out who's in first place...i couldn't tell you what's happened in iraq or when the next hurricane will hit...i strive hard to do nothing and i succeed in great form...i pick on sterotypes rather than the people...i laugh at jokes that aren't funny and laugh at jokes at are funny...i do everything and nothing all at once to see whether or not it's possible...i'm in love with someone...i hate other people...and most people i just don't care about...i'm a loser, a loner, a dork, a fool, a nut hanging baffoon who drinks too much beer from the tube of a funnel, who looks forward to the brighter days in life when i win 50-25 rather than lose in a similar manner...i'm peach...i'm at a low spot in my life...but at least i know it